Never lose
by The Carpet Shampoo
Summary: Pan goes away to college in America...or so her family thinks. When she cuts off communications with them, Trunks and Goten visit America to find her.
1. Good bye Pan

"Never Lose"

A Trunks/Pan fic by Pixie

Author's Note: This is my newest story; yes it is Trunks and Pan. The story is Pan is attending college in America, and has not been contacting her family in Japan. When Trunks' business takes him to America, he discovers why.

Chapter One: Good-bye Pan!!

Pan's POV

            When you're little, and you get hurt or something, you cry really loudly. You want to be held and loved and comforted. You want the attention and love that only your mother and father can give to you. When you get a bit older, you stop crying. You want to be strong, and be known as "Daddy's Big Girl" When you get hurt, you bite your lip, and think of your Daddy. You know he wouldn't cry, so you gotta "suck it up" and be strong. But eventually the crying returns. You don't cry loudly anymore. Because this is when you learn true unhappiness, and it hurts more than any skinned knee you might have had. Your tears are silent, each one washing out your secrets making you feel better, but more vulnerable with each falling tear. My mother cried when I left for America. Silent tears, in my dad's arms. I knew she was truly sad, because she hid her tears from me. She did not want the vulnerability that tears gave her. So she hid her tears. Bulma too, hid her tears, but not in Vegeta's arms. No, he wanted to give her comfort, but the pride of a Saiyin held him back. Instead, Trunks and Bra held her. Being demi-saiyins they had their pride and did not often show their mother affection. But in times, the human emotions overcome the Saiyin ones and you see then, that the Briefs family truly loves one another. Chi-Chi did not have anyone to hold her. Goku was gone. Krillan tried, being a friend of family, put his arm around her, but she was too sad to even hide her tears. Marron, who was perhaps my best friend, could not even look at me. She clung to her mother, and looked as if she would never let go. Seeing them like that, brought up a great sadness in me, the greatest sadness I had ever felt. Throughout the rest of my life, I would only feel one sadness greater than that…

 Goten's POV

I showed up just as Pan was about to leave. "Wait a sec!" I ran through the crowd, pushing my way to Pan. "Hey girl, where do you think you're going?" Pan grinned our famous Son grin. Looking at her, I loved seeing my expression on her face. In a way, I was trying to replace Goku. I knew this was just like something he would do, show up late with his big grin on his face and wonder why no one had waited for him. I knew, out of all of the Son's, I was the most like Goku. And so I practically became Goku. I walked right up to my mother and smiled at her, giving her a big hug. "For a second," she whispered, "I thought you were Goku." I grinned at her, feeling proud. I loved being Goku. I looked around, seeing everyone's mood improved. Bulma and my mom had stopped crying, at least. Only Vegeta's mood had not changed. He was still being Vegeta. Oh well, can't win them all, but the least you can do is never lose. Pan ran around, and gave everyone one last hug. Yes even Vegeta. He shocked us all when he hugged her back. However he quickly became the proud Sayian again, and told her to "go before she missed her damn plane" Pan hugged me last, and whispered "Thank you" before going off on her plane. She flashed the Son grin one more time. It would be years before I saw that grin again. Everyone seemed down again. Hmm…what would Goku do? Suddenly I stopped listening to my brain and listening instead to the most important part of my body. 

"Hey guys, how 'bout we all go out and get some food? Trunks' treat!" Everyone laughed, except Trunks who paled, and Vegeta who clapped his hand on his son's shoulder and said, "Yes, boy lets go out to eat. After all, good-bye's make me very hungry."  And I knew, I'd become Goku there, which was a very good thing. The second good thing was Bra held my hand! 

Chi-Chi's POV

Seeing Goten come dashing through the clouds was truly seeing Goku again. And the way he acted, just like his father. And of course, ending the day with food. How typical of him. Pan too, had been like Goku in a way. Not so much as personality wise, but she had his smile. I would miss her coming over, complaining, "I shoulda taught Gohan to cook" or "I can't even identify what Videl made…and I'm a Sayian too!!" She talked a lot, mostly about the future. She wanted to grow up so fast, and not be the youngest and weakest anymore. I used to imagine that she and Trunks would get married, and have beautiful strong demi-sayians for me to love and hold. But I am old and there do not appear to be hints of romance between the too. But perhaps I am not that old, and perhaps I will live to see the day when the Briefs and Sons are finally a united family. 

Author's Note: Well this is the beginning. 

Goten: Duh.

Pixie: Yes, but I was going to go on. 

Goten: Then do so, and hurry up, I'm hungry. 

Pixie: Ok. In the next chapter-

Goten: I finally get some food, Pan starts college. Now go make me a sandwich. 

Pixie: No. Not until you address me properly. 

Goten: Oh Pixie, Princess of the Fan Fics, can I please have a sandwich? 

Pixie: That's better.

Goten: Why aren't you Queen of the Fan Fics? How come only a Princess?

Pixie: Cause. AMCM74's the queen. 

Goten: We'll write better than her someday!!

Pixie: No we wont.

Goten: Yeah you're right. Lets go get some sandwiches. 

-Fin-


	2. Introducing...Celeste

"Never lose"

A story by Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ nor any of the characters. I just use them in my fanfics. 

Pixie: Aww…9 reviews. That's a new record for me- most reviews on a single chapter!!

Goten: You did remember to thank your reviewers right?

Pixie: Er…most of them. The one's who's email addresses worked…and like, the first seven people…

Goten: oh well. THANK YOU REVIEWERS!! 

Pixie: And now I proudly present…Chapter 2: Celeste and J.P. 

Pan's POV

The flight was long and boring. I could hardly sit still, thought thankfully I didn't get airsick. I wish I could have flown, but even with me flying at a steady pace, I'd probably get way worn out. So I took a plane. Though I didn't mind the plane, I was still thankful when we'd landed. The food on the plane was worse than Gohan's cooking. Heck, it was worse than Bulma's cooking. I looked around the airport. So many American faces. I wondered if they had even heard of our heroes of Japan. Goku, Gohan, Trunks…I wonder if they knew Mr. Satan. Probably. "Hey, kid!" I turned to see the shouter. A thin, short girl was coming towards me. "Hey kid, are you…" she glanced at a sheet of paper, "…Pan Son?" I nodded. 

"How'd you know?" I asked her. 

"Your shirt," she replied. I blushed slightly embarrassed. My shirt was one Bulma gave me. Printed on the front was "Pan-chan."  

"I am Celeste Ama, your roommate. I got sent here to pick you up." I nodded. I would have felt stupid introducing myself, because my name was on my shirt, and it was obvious she knew me. I looked over Celeste. Were all Americans like this? Or was Celeste just odd? She had long hair, black as mine, but she had added the colors of the sun and moon to it. Long golden streaks, and long silver streaks spilled out over the back of her hair. I wondered how I would look if I did that. Probably like a punk kid with silver and gold in their hair. Celeste had violet eyes, dark like a midnight sky and she was short and thin. She dressed in dark clothing and looked like a goddess of the heavens. Her body was decorated with silver jewelry, cheap bangles up and down her arms. She turned to me, and gave me a smile. Not a Son grin, or a Briefs smirk, but something soft and genuine. I liked her already. Soon Celeste would teach me a lot. From her I would learn love, pain and beauty. And from her, I would lose everything I ever had, but gain my one true love. 

Trunks' POV

After Pan left, I started hanging out with Gohan and Videl a lot. They were hurting over losing their kid, more than my wallet was hurting over feeding so many hungry Saiyans. Goten hung out with us a lot too. Together we formed a makeshift family. Goten, portraying Goku, Me, being the child they'd lost, together we sought solace in each other. We we're all hurting, badly too. Goten was trying so badly to be someone everyone wanted him to be, but deep down I think everyone knows Goten can never be Goku. But all the same, they can't quite accept this, the way Goten can't accept he'll never be Goku. Videl and Gohan are hurting because they've lost their only child. She's far away, hidden from their eyes. They had each raised her, each on secretly hoping Pan would turn out they way they wanted. But in the end, they were satisfied I think, because Pan turned out her own way. I too, am hurting. Pan was my friend, aside from Goten maybe my best friend. But Pan, she was something more. She made my heart whole, in a way no one had ever done, and it hurt, it hurt so bad to be away from her. Did I love her I ask? I don't know. Was I just lonely? Did I just want someone to love, and Pan was there? I don't know. I know that I care about here, but I also know loneliness is the number one cause of love.

End Chapter too. 

Pixie: So Goten, what do you think?

Goten: Less Trunks, more me. 

Pixie: You'll get your chance, trust me. But…only if you clean my room and make me popcorn. 

Goten: WHAT? I'm not here to be your personal slave. 

Pixie: Fine…what if I just…erase you out of the fic all together?

Goten: What do you want on your popcorn? 


	3. What Bra said/Marron's secret

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ

Pixie: Would you look at that? 18 reviews…

Goten: It's a new record, beating out our old 12 reviews.

Pixie: And one of those was a flame too…

Goten: He just doesn't understand your humor.

Pixie: Of course…and without further ado…Chapter 3: What Bra said…

Bra's POV 

Pan, Marron and I had always been close friends. We we're a team, the team of sparring girls. Pan was probably the strongest. I had more Saiyan in me, but she had more spirit, she had the will to fight. She had enough of that to make her stronger than my father. My father was a good fighter, but he lacked spirit. He knew he was good, and with Goku gone, he had no competition. So he simply remained at the strength level he was, training as he had before he met Goku, to maintain his strength, rather than improve it. A lot of us lost something when Pan left. I lost a best friend, a sparring person, and something more. I had lost a part of myself. A part that always tried to make Pan give us that smile, a part that thought about what to do with Pan's hair, a part of me that was Pan's friend. Where this part of me had gone, I don't know. I wondered if Pan would replace me…Would she find another girl who liked to shop? And liked to talk all night on the phone with her? And another who would dress her up all pretty, the throw her at some guy they knew (for me, it was Trunks)? 

Celeste's POV

Pan Son…she had on a shirt that said Pan-chan, boyish pants and an old, but clean bandanna. Looking at her, I didn't know someday, I would be Pan's downfall. I would try and teach her love, and we would both be hurt. I didn't know then that it would be Pan who taught me love. 

JP greeted us with a smile. JP and I were only friends, but we were open about how strong of friends we were. He threw his arms around me, then turned to shake Pan's hand. I'd known my friend a very long time, I knew a lot about him. I knew when I looked at him, he was attracted to Pan.

"J.P." he said as he reached for Pan's hand.

"Pan Son…don't you have a last name?" she asked, making me laugh, along with the rest of them. I noticed Pan and JP had similar smiles, both so friendly, and innocent, and free. 

"The P part is my last name. I'm Jeff Preston" he smiled at her, a light in his midnight blue eyes. There was an awkward silence. JP ran his fingers through his hair. I looked at Pan, shocked to see she was doing the same thing. JP looked up at Pan, and an identical expression crossed their faces. They laughed together, and JP put one arm around Pan, and gave her a quick one-armed hug. He seemed like he would have left his arm there, but Pan stepped away and looked at him face to face again. I thought for a second I saw something in Pan's eyes. The trace of a lost lover perhaps? Either way, for the two of them, this looked like the beginnings of love. I knew they'd be perfect for each other, but whether they say that or not, depended on how nosy I could be.

Marron's POV

I lay down on my bed when I got home from the airport. The picture of everyone crying would haunt me forever. Pan was leaving, leaving across the globe. She said it was for a better education, but I knew. I was her best friend; I knew why she had left. I couldn't even meet her eye when she was in the airport. I felt her give me a final hug, and whisper good-bye, but I had just clung to my mother like a scared little girl. And I scared little girl I was. Which is why I am alone in my room. I can hear whispers of my mother and father talking, but they are no more than whispers, lost on the wind. Trunks…you cursed me with this fate didn't you? It was your fault, your fault I drove Pan away. It was an accident. I know somewhere, the night is trying to swallow up your hurt, trying to hide it from the rest of the world, but I know Trunks. Identical Pain sweeps through our hearts. We did this Trunks. We made Pan leave. 

Pixie: Ahh…this seems like a good spot to end the story, what do you think Goten?

Goten: Yes it's a good spot…lets go have breakfast, please?

Pixie: Ok…I have to go feed Gohan soon anyway. 

Goten: Gohan? What's he doing here?

Pixie: He's cute…so I invited him to live with us! Its teenage Gohan though…so I had to take away his Great Saiya man costume. 

Goten: What did you do with it?

Pixie: I'll show you… * hits a small button on her watch, thus transforming her into the great Saiya man…er girl. * What do you think Goten? * attempts some crazy poses, trips on the cape and falls down * 

Goten: Um…

*fin *


	4. Bulma and Vegeta

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: Well Goten, would you look at that? AMCM wants to know who her King is supposed to be…I guess the choices would be Goku…or Vegeta…

Goten: Hm…I think Goku deserves to be the King

* Out of nowhere Chibi Trunks appears! *

C. Trunks: No way Goten…My dad deserves to win. He's a prince already, why shouldn't he be the King?

Goten: Cause…he's stupid and mean and Kings should be good, like my dad.

Pixie: Hold on a sec guys…Technically, AM hasn't updated for a while…so maybe we should make Vegeta the king.

Goten: NO!!

Pixie: On the other hand, she is a good writer, and she did seem to like my story, so maybe Goku should be the King…

Trunks: NO!!

Pixie: There's only one fair way to determine the King. We'll leave the decision up to the reviewers…In your review of this chapter, tell me who you think should be the King-Goku or Vegeta. I'll announce the winner when I put up the next chapter.

Chapter 4: Bulma and Vegeta

Bulma's POV

Trunks was my little boy. I knew him well. So much like his father, he couldn't admit he had feelings for a girl. He just hoped she would come up and tell him she liked him. But my boy was also human. A Saiyan knows when they are in love. Its black and white to them. But for Trunks' a demi-saiyan, it was difficult. His human blood allowed him to see the shades of gray. Which is why I think he was so confused over how he was feeling. About Marron, or perhaps Pan. I knew he liked on of them because of the way Bra always had her friends dressed up so nice when Trunks was around. Perhaps his heart was torn in two. Perhaps he liked them both. This is very possible in a boy Trunks' age. I knew what it was like to like two mean as well. I had liked both Vegeta and Yamcha. But in the end, I chose Vegeta. It took a while, but I eventually saw I loved him. Emotions in a young persons heart can be very confusing. Some days you love a girl, the next day; you never want to speak to her again. Pan's leaving was very sudden for Trunks. I loved Pan, almost as much as I loved Bra. I knew her leaving would cause us all to suffer. At the airport, I cried over losing Pan. I felt such strong arms wrap around me, but when I looked up to see Vegeta's face, I saw Trunks instead. I love my whole family fiercely, but it hurt like a thousand knives to not see Vegeta holding me…

Vegeta's POV

Boys. Boys training, boys in love, either way, they're so damn confused about how they're feeling it's pathetic to watch. I know my boy's a good boy, bratty though. Well…maybe not so bratty. I can't even express how proud I am of him. His triumphs, his stature, the way he's strong, emotionally and physically, it was more fulfilling than it would have been had I beaten Kakkarott. I can't express how I feel, so I stick my emotions to myself, and often say the opposite of what I mean. Or do the opposite of what I'd like to do. Like at the airport with Bulma. I didn't act like I was said about the kid leaving. She was a good kid at heart, and a good fighter, with a real fighting spirit. Reminded me a lot of Kakkarott. Yes, I had hoped she would bond with my son, bring some Saiyan blood back into our family. But no, my boy was too confused as to whether he liked her or not. Boys…never knowing what they want or how to get it. I guess this means I too am still a boy. I couldn't even figure out how to comfort Bulma, my own wife. I can't show her affection, or even treat her the way she deserved because of my pride. Even Kakkarott in all his stupidity, knew how to treat his woman. Am I a bad man? Or am I just a man, with an ego larger than his hair, who can't learn love?

JP's POV

Wow. When I first laid eyes on Pan Son, my whole heart lit up like firecrackers. She was beautiful, yet she carried and aura of strength and passion. I knew if I just kissed her, it would be more fulfilling than all the good deeds I'd ever done. I knew if I just held her close, whispering to her I loved her, my life would be done. I imagined what this would be like. 

**I held Pan close…softly in her ear, I told her how much I loved her, and how long I had waited for this moment. She drew apart from me, telling me she loved me too. Then she leaned in and kissed me, a kiss like chocolate, when you haven't had it before, a kiss like a warm sun after months of cold, a kiss of magic, strong, passionate.**

My daydream ended there. I thought I saw something in Pan's eyes when I put my arm round her. She had stepped away, but I thought I saw her eyes change emotions. At first she was sad to be here, but I think her heart lightened when she met me. I went back to my daydream. If that ever came true, I think I could just lie down and die after it. My life would have been complete.

Trunks POV

I left my makeshift family and headed towards home. It was impossible. Everything I saw, somehow reminded me of Pan. When I closed my eyes, I saw her smile, heard her laugh! I walked into my room and flopped down on the bed. Why…why didn't I tell Pan that I thought I loved her? "Because it would have sounded stupid" I thought. "Hey Pan, I'm not quite sure but I think I love you?"  I gazed up in the dark. I glanced over at my computer. It was calling me…I went over and turned it on.

From: PanSon12

To: TrunksAreCool

Dear Trunks,

            I'm here in college and just thought I'd send you a quick email. I miss you guys so much. Does Bra have and email address? Can you send it to me please? Thanks a lot. I hope Capsule Corp takes you to America sometime. If it does, can you please come visit me? I've made some friends, but I still miss you guys terribly. Yes, even you Trunks. But don't let it swell up your ego. We can't handle to Vegetas. Tell everyone I said hi, and tell my dad, he needs email! Oh yeah, and tell everyone I love them and I miss them!

Love, 

Pan-chan

I looked over the email, read it once, twice, then three times. Finally I reached over, and clicked Reply. 

Pixie: This is quite a long chapter, huh Goten?

Goten: Yes it is. Uploading it made me hungry. By the way, is Chibi Trunks going to stay here?

Pixie: Of course. I'll have to show him my Chibi Trunks shrine.

Goten: You have a shrine to Trunks!!??

Pixie: Just the Chibi form…

* fin *


	5. A young girl's heart

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: Well ladies, and dudes. The votes are in…AM, I'm so sorry. Most votes came in through email and in the end, Vegeta won. 

Goten: Pixie…this isn't fair to AM.

Pixie: * starts laughing * Ok, ok, I'm messing with you. The true winner's Goku, like 8 votes to two. 

Goten: IN YOUR FACE TRUNKS!!

Trunks: My dad can still beat your dad…and I can still beat you!

Pixie: and now on to chapter 5… "A date?!"

Trunks POV

To: PanSon12

From: TrunksAreCool

Yeah, Bra's email address is BraLess35. Go figure. We miss you too. Are you coming to visit anytime? Capsule Corp takes me over to America every once in a while. I'll see if I can visit next time. 

-Trunks

Simple. Innocent. No one would suspect a thing. It was just a short email, nothing out of the ordinary. It didn't tell Pan how I saw her face every night in my dreams. It didn't tell Pan how much I missed her laugh, her smile, her attitude. "Pan…" I thought. I closed my eyes. Visions passed before me in a whirlwind of confusion, all of them of Pan. In my heart it was early morning and the sun was rising. I knew then I loved Pan. But as quickly as my sun rose, it set. Pan was not mine to be had. Marron had told me. Pan had no return feelings for me. I clicked send then walked over to my bed and collapsed. The night was long, and its shadows thick…it can conceal any body, any thing, and any pain…

Marron's POV

Pan…I have betrayed you, haven't I? But it was love and jealousy that made me do it! Love is the only thing that can rip friendships apart; it is the only thing that can tear a young girl's heart in so many pieces. 

It starts a few months back. About a month before you left. Trunks came to my house one evening. I remember clearly, opening my door and seeing him there. So strong, and yet looking vulnerable. The multi-colored sky held magnificent background for him. I knew for a while I had loved Trunks. He asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed at once, my heart fluttering in my chest, like a thousand butterflies in the spring. My body was filled with a heat like the summer sun, and I gazed into the eyes of the one I loved. I dreamt of us walking many more days like this, our silhouettes gently illuminated by the setting sun. 

"Marron…did you hear me?"

"Hm?"

"I'll take that as a no…I was asking if you knew if Pan liked me or not? Cause I really like her, and I thought maybe she and I could get together if she liked me back."

Pan and I had always been best friends. Never before had anything come between us. But now, the love in my heart turned to bitter jealousy. I was ready to scream, to throw something. I knew perfectly well Pan liked Trunks, and suddenly, the anger and rage of my rejected love cleared. The jealousy took hold of me, and began speaking through my mouth in my voice. "I'm sorry Trunks-san. But I'm afraid Pan just doesn't feel that way about you" I expected to see a mild hurt in his face, as I looked up to meet those blue eyes. But instead, Trunks looked as if he'd just been told his family had died. I was a bit shocked. I had expected disappointment, but not to this extreme. But despite disappointment for Trunks, his eyes were still blue, and I still imagined the two of us together.

I told Pan later on that Trunks didn't like her the way she loved him. It killed me seeing the expression Trunks had worn on Pan's face. It killed me all over again when Pan left for America because Trunks didn't love her. But I was a girl, and I was in love. And this is an unstoppable power.

Celeste's POV

Pan did a twirl in front of me. She looked great in my red dress. I'd put silver in her hair, but not gold. Hey, the silver and gold was MY trademark. She had reluctantly agreed not to wear the bandanna for the night, though she muttered that I owed her big. I told her I was going to pay back that debt. And in my mind, I did. I did Pan's hair, her make-up, gave her a great dress, and shoes. She would blow JP's mind. I wasn't at all surprised to see the two of them together. After all, they were both kind people, always putting others before themselves. They both had a smile for all the world, and they were both my two best friends. We walked outside where Pan was meeting JP. He looked handsome enough, though Pan looked too good for him. But I watched them smile at each other, and JP offered his arm to Pan, which she took. It looked like love was blossoming…and I supposed that makes me the gardener…

Pixie: Oh…long chapter. I'm tired of typing. This chapter is supposed to be a bit longer, but…oh well.

Gohan: You know…we do have a closet we could shut her up in. 

Pixie: You wouldn't dare!

Goten: I don't know…we just might.

Pixie: Me in a closet...with only my computer. It might not be bad. After all I do have an idea for a new fic. 

Gohan: You do?

Pixie: Yes I do…Maybe a Gohan/Tien lemon fic?

Gohan: Um…closet is a bad idea…VERY bad idea…

Pixie: I knew you'd see it my way…

Happy Valentine's Day from Pixie, Gohan, Goten, and Chibi Trunks!

We love you reviewers!!

* fin *


	6. Trunks' hair

Never Lose

By Pixie Whitefeather

Disclaimer: Nope I don't own DBZ…but if any of you are looking for Christmas ideas for me…

Pixie: So…how was you're Valentine's Day guys?

Gohan: I only got one Valentine, and that was from you Pixie…

Pixie: heh… * thinks about beating off all the fan girls who were trying to give Gohan valentines *

Trunks: I got about 1,000,000,000. What about you Goten?

Goten: * holds up a bunch of candy *  I got food!!

Pixie: All right then…sounds like we all had a good valentines day. So, here, its all for you reviewers, the next chapter! Chapter 6 "Trunks' hair"

JP's POV

I looked over at Pan from across the table. Her hair glittered softly and for one crazy moment I thought her hair was spun from moonbeams itself. I reminded myself how much I owed Celeste for setting up this date. Pan drew her eyes to meet mine and she smiled softly. "I love you!" I wanted to cry out. I thought I felt my heart reach out and grab hold of her's. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I don't remember what we talked about, or what we ate. I just remembered her face, her features lit up in the light of the restaurant, her hair softly spilling down on her shoulders, gleaming silver, and her eyes lit up brighter than my heart. We went for a walk afterward in a park nearby. The moon softly lit the path; it was full and brighter than the streetlamps nearby. We walked in awkward silence for a bit before Pan turned to me, her face only about a foot from mine. She appeared to be studying my face, as if looking for something. She finally shook her head, and smiled softly to herself. "Is my makeup messed up?" I asked her. Pan blushed. I suppose she'd realized she'd been staring. 

"No," Pan replied, "You're too talented with makeup to mess up."

"Finally," I replied, and tossed my short hair dramatically, "someone's discovered my talent in makeup. You'll have to let me do your makeup sometime. I don't know what Celeste did to your face, but you looked much prettier with your makeup off." Pan shook her hair.

"Yes I know, I just glow with natural beauty," she said.

"You do," I said softly.

Pan's eyes shot to mine, as if to see if I was serious. Truth be told, I was dead serious. And Pan must have seen that. Time must have stopped there, cause I only have to memories. One is of Pan's eyes, first staring at mine, and then the warm soft feel of her lips on mine.

Trunks' POV

Sometimes, drowning in darkness isn't bad. You no longer have thoughts. Its like someone took every thought in your head and sealed it away, so it'll never bother you again. During these few days, I was completely lost in the dark. I was robbed of all conscious thought, only when the nightmares came did I know I was still alive. My life was no longer mine. I'd thrown it at the mercy of love. But love is rough. It took my life and ripped it up. Love. It's such a cruel, devastating, beautiful, joyous word. Love is the strongest emotion you can feel. It was love, in the end that destroyed us all. It was love, in the end, that saved us all. And it was the love of two women dear to me who saved me from the nightmares in my head. 

Bulma's POV

"I'm not standing for this anymore! Bra, fetch me a pair of scissors, then meet me up by Trunks' room." Bra ran off, and I marched up to Trunks' room. I paused outside the door. This was my little boy in here, beaten up by love. I recognized the symptoms of someone in love. Trunks was a foolish boy, and a confused boy, but above all he was my boy. And I was here to save him. Bra came up beside me, a pair of scissors in her hand. I pushed open the door and walked inside. Trunks was there sitting on his bed, staring out the window. His hair, uncut for so long fell down his back, messy and unwashed. I walked up to him and promptly began combing and cutting his hair. He didn't even move.

"So Trunks, who's the girl? I can tell you love someone, but I take it she doesn't love you back." Trunks didn't respond, instead his eyes glanced over at the computer. Bra walked over there and picked up a sheet of paper.

"OH MY DENDE!!!" She ran over to me with the paper in her hand. It was an email from Pan, and someone had written "I love you" all over it.  "ITS PAN??!! HOLY SHIT TRUNKS YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH PAN??!!" Bra screamed. Trunks nodded slowly. Bra looked at him hard for a minute, then reached out and slapped him. "Trunks Briefs, I don't know who told you about love, but its not going to come to you if you sit in your goddamn room all day," Bra said. I will have to remind myself to scold her later for her language problem. Bra continued, "You've got to get out there and grab love by the balls, and then force it to do what you want." Trunks looked up at me and Bra, and nodded. He jumped up. 

"You're right Bra," he said, the red outline of Bra's hand still glowing on his face. He grinned at us both and my heart leapt up in the air. My son was back. 

Pixie: I must call this the end of this chapter. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter. Which, now that all my work is caught up, I should be able to have up real soon. I have tomorrow off, so maybe I'll put up a chapter. Heck maybe I'll put up TWO chapters. Would you guys like that?


	7. Pan speaks

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: No, I don't own DBZ. JP and Celeste are my characters though, but I suppose if you wanted to you could use them.

Pixie: Ok…I suppose you've been good reviewers. So I'm putting up two chapters. That's right, right after you read this chapter you can read another. I'm not going to bore you with a long intro, so here's Chapter 7: Pan speaks

Pan's POV

Yes its official. I do love JP. Something about his sweet smile, the way he always puts other before himself…it's enough to drive any girl crazy. But if I love him so much…why did I got home and cry on my pillow? Well…I do know why, actually. His name is Trunks Briefs. Here I am, with the most perfect guy ever drooling over me, and I'm crying cause I love a guy who doesn't love me back. Was I doomed never to be with any guy because of Trunks? NO! It couldn't be. I'm over Trunks; he doesn't love me, end of story. Or is it the end? Perhaps it will never end. Is it really possible to love two guys at once? And what was it about Trunks? JP was nice where Trunks was mean, JP smiled where Trunks would have frowned, JP stops pain, when Trunks causes it. Still, there is something about Trunks that drives me absolutely crazy. Something I can't quite put my finger on. Love is a crazy angel indeed. But, it didn't matter. JP was the man for me. He was here, Trunks was there. And besides, I know JP loves me back, while I know Trunks doesn't. And even he did, it really wouldn't make a difference to me anyway. I loved JP and that was final. 

Goten's POV

Man, oh man, was it great seeing Trunks back. He came busting into Capsule Corp and shaped everyone up just by his presence. It was the greatest rush, seeing him bounce back like that. I smiled Goku-style at him, and he gave his Vegeta-smirk back. Old times, I tell you, just like old times. Seeing Trunks like that made me realize something. Trunks, like me, was very much like his father. The way I was like mine. Was it fate that gave us our father's shoes? I knew then, like I had always known, but never realized, that I was not Goku. But, nor was I Goten. I was like Trunks; I was like a salad, all mixed up, but still each part separate. I was Chi-Chi. I was Goku. I was Gohan. And finally, I was Goten. When I was born, I was named Goten. But I never became him until that moment. That moment I was born again, never to lose who I had become. 

Marron's POV

Is it ok to speak now? Is it ok for me to look out the window? Or will I still cause sadness with my words and see it through my window of the world. Bra. I need Bra, and I need her now. I must confess, to tell someone what I've done. Bra never knew about the way Trunks and Pan felt about each other. It was ironic. Pan never told Bra because she was always with Trunks, and Trunks never told Bra because she was always with Pan. Only I had the power to bring them together. But power and jealousy took me over, as they have to so many in the past, and I was lost in their seductive shadows. And now, now I will tell someone what I have done? Will this pacify the growing darkness inside me? I don't want to be evil, I don't want to be! Am I? Am I just evil person, doomed forever to be in Hell? I see now. I telling someone will not pacify my soul. Correcting what I've done will not save it. What then am I to do? I have a solution in mind, but I can only pray Dende gives me the courage to do what I must. I glance up at my reflection. It looks clearer than before. And I know now, I must carry out my solution. Then my soul will be pacified. But first…first I will call Bra. My hand shakes slightly as it picks up the phone and dials Bra's number. Her voice, so innocent answers the phone. Have I lost my innocence? Am I no longer sweet Marron? No. I know I'm not. I blurted out the whole story to Bra. I could feel her emotions. Shock and horror over what I've done, and anger. Lots of anger for me hurting her brother. But there is compassion. Bra knows love and she knows why I did, what I did. And already I feel the darkness beginning to lift.

Pixie: This chapter took me a long time to write. Look Goten, I've been sitting here for over an hour.

Goten: why?

Pixie: Couldn't think of anything to write. And I had a lot of interruptions. The phone kept ringing, and it was never anyone important. But I'm done now, and I must go type the next chapter. 

* fin *


	8. Jeff Preston

"Never Lose"

by Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. 

Pixie: Wow. I'm so tired; I hope this chapter comes out ok.

Gohan: She woke up at six, went to a health club with her friend.

Pixie: came home, sat down typed and uploaded chapter. But, I do it all for my fans. I'm uploading two chapters this time, to thank you guys for being so great. Thanks a lot everyone. So now, just for you guys, Chapter 8: Jeff Preston

Celeste's POV

Love. Pan told me she loved JP. But love kills. JP is my best friend. We've been together since grade school. I fell down and scraped my knee. JP held my hand and walked me to the nurse. We got the usual taunts. "Celeste and JP, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"  But I didn't care. I knew they were jealous and that's why they taunted. My mother told me to always hold my head high. And so that's what I will did, and thought I always would do. If Pan and JP are my plants, and I am the gardener, then I am a foolish gardener. Because I have forgotten all about winter and its terrible effects on plants. I don't know the full of story of what happened. All I know is that JP and Pan were on a walk together in a street. Somehow Pan fell and twisted her ankle, so JP proceeded to carry her home. He's just that type of person. But neither of them knew what was coming. Neither of them could have even begun to think of what happened next. I feel tears come to my eyes, and I know I cannot think anymore. I run out the door, not knowing if it's light or dark. I am blind now, and will remain this way until an angel of another world will pick me up and carry me softly. Sometime when I was running, I fell and scraped my knee. I could almost feel JP's hand in mine, encouraging me gently up, with that soft smile blooming on his face. Its starting to rain now, but I don't feel it. My body is cold, I think my heart is frozen, for I no longer feel life inside of me. I feel arms around me, but they are as cold as death's touch. It is Pan, and we are alone now, two fallen angels, unready to face the world that's abandoned them. 

Pan's POV

Its over…my life is over. Why? Why? Why? The question repeats over and over again as a scene plays over and over in my mind. JP and I were walking in a road. He was holding my hand, but my hand was too lazy to grip his hand. So I let it rest. I was thinking about Trunks and did not see the hole in the road. But of course, my foot found it. I fell over, twisting my ankle, badly. JP reached down and picked me up. Being a Saiyan, my ankle was already almost healed, but I let him carry me in his arms. I felt good there, and all of life was perfect. Neither of us saw the car coming. I suppose it didn't see us either. Suddenly, out of the black mist of the night, the car appeared, too late for us to move. Too late for JP anyway. He threw me through the air and I landed on grass, out of the car's way. I landed just in time to see the car run JP over as easily as a child steps on a bug. I screamed his name and ran through the dark. The car never stopped. 

JP's POV

I knew I would not survive being hit. So I did the only thing I could do at the time. I reached up and took Pan in my arms. I held her close, and whispered in her ear how much I loved her. She drew away from me, and whispered she loved me too. Then, Pan kissed me. It was a kiss like chocolate, when you haven't had any for a year, a kiss like the warm sun after months of cold, a kiss of magic, strong and passionate. My life was complete now. I closed my eyes then, and felt the whole world float away on the silvery clouds of Pan's hair.

Pixie: Well this is it. The end of the chapter. * breaks down in tears *

Goten: Hey at least you didn't make him a jerk. 

Pixie: that's true…this is my story about love, and life and death. So, it has to be this way now. 


	9. The Son family

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: OK, I'm back, and with a new chapter. A lot of you asked why JP had to die. I'm sorry that he had too, cause he was one of my very favorite characters. But it's important for the plot that he dies. I'm sorry, but that's the way its gotta be. There is no way this story could progress without his death. So without further ado, Chapter 8: The Son family.

Gohan's POV

Its been a week since Pan's last letter, raving about that boy JP. I wonder why there have been no more. Am I no longer the important man in her life? Oh well, I suppose this type of behavior is only natural in young girls. But still I worry about her. She is my little girl, after all. I look over at Videl. She is staring out at the mailbox. "Pan…if you don't send a letter for my sake, please then, for your mother's sake, send a letter!" For a moment, I wildly thought that if I thought this thought hard enough, Pan would hear. But then I remembered this was impossible. Videl turned away from the window and looked at me, longing in her blue eyes. Lines of worry sprinkled her face, and the first part of tears began to shimmer in her eyes. 

"Why is there no letter Gohan? Why hasn't Pan written?" her voice was shaky while she spoke and her eyes filled up all the way with tears. I had no answer. I just watched the battle between Videl and her tears. The tears won and began to spill down Videl's face. I slowly walked over to her, and put my arm around her.

"Don't cry. It's only been one week. I bet she's been so busy with her friends, she hasn't even had time to write. Or maybe she just forgot," I said, reassuring myself more than Videl. 

Videl looked at me her eyes sparkled with diamond tears and spoke, her voice no longer shaky, but strong and firm, "Pan wouldn't forget. Ever." 

The scary part was, I knew she was right. 

Goten's POV

Something's gone terribly wrong. I can feel it in the air. Its weird, but I feel like Dad's here again, trying to tell me something. I can feel him, the way you know when someone's watching you. 

"What is it Dad?" I say this aloud, for no one is around to hear, "Is it Trunks? Pan? Mom?" But the only reply is the soft blow of the wind. But Dad is still here. Trying to tell me my mission now…but I can't hear him. I can never here him. But I can help him.

"That's what you'd do, isn't it Dad? Try and help someone, even if you didn't know who to help, or how to help them? Well, Dad, I accept. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I swear, by your name, I'll do it." 

"Your words are brave boy, and noble, but can you live up to them?" The voice I knew. 

Celeste's POV

I looked up at Pan. She looked as awful as I felt. Her hair, once silvery moonlight on a sea of raven, was now nothing more than silver and black mixed together. Her eyes once so bright and lovely were dull and closed to the world. 

"We have to escape," it was the silent conversation that passed between us. It was a cry for vengeance, against the cruel hand Fate had thrown at his. I am a gambler of life. I believe in giving up all you have, throwing it all on the table and hoping for something better. And that's what I intended to do now. All I had were my family back home, and the college nearby. Mentally I saw myself, throwing everything away. Pan…I had Pan didn't I? But I could see it in her, she wouldn't let me throw her away. So we decided. We'd throw it all away and await our next hand. For better or for worse, we were the gamblers of life. The comfort in this was knowing no matter how much we threw away, we'd still have each other in the end. This happened one week ago.

Trunks' POV

"Hey Mom!" I rushed in the door, home from another day at work, "Guess what?" My mom looked up, and turned to me. Her face was puzzled, but she looked tired, and somewhat sad. Luckily, my news was good. 

"I get to go to America on business. California, specifically. Do you know what that means? I get to see Pan!" I was so excited, I could hardly speak. 

Mom smiled, sadly and looked at me, a thousand emotions whirling through her eyes.

"I'm afraid it won't be so easy."

Pixie: And there. I leave it there. What could possibly happen next I hear you say? Well…I'm not telling. You must get down on your knees and BEG! And also hope I don't injure myself again. 

Goten: She had a back injury and couldn't move, much less update. It's a great story. See-

 *Pixie quickly leans over and covers Goten's mouth *

Pixie: Goten, that's not the greatest story to tell. Save it for another time.

* fin * 


	10. 100 review special!!

Goten: Finally! 100 reviews!

Gohan: Seriously? Who was the 100th reviewer?

Goten: It was…Silver Starre.

Gohan: Oh well that explains it.

Goten: Explains what?

Gohan: Silver and Pix are best friends. Pix probably told her to review.

Goten: Well yeah…

*Trunks runs in * 

Trunks: Guys, Pixie's asleep! So who's gonna write the special and more importantly…who's gonna cook for us?

Gohan: Hey guys, we can write the review right? 

Goten and Trunks: No.

Gohan: And now…the 100 review special for "Never Lose"

100 review special

Goten: First off, we'd like to thank everyone who reviewed.

Gohan: we couldn't do anything without you guys!

Trunks: But…we'd especially like to thank the people who reviewed every chapter…or almost every chapter. 

Gohan: These people are:

Saiyan Serpent

Bunny

DR. SQUEE

AMCM74

Juliemoonstar

Jami-chan

Bra Briefs-Vegeta

Lady of Flame

Sheylan

Miss Myrhe 

((To anyone's who's name we've misspelled, we apologize! And to anyone who deserves to be up here but isn't, we apologized even more!!!))

Trunks: And lets not also forget to give a really really big THANK YOU to Sheylan for being our very first reviewer!!! 

Gohan: And another thank you to Silver Starre for being our 100th reviewer!!

Gohan: And we feel its fitting to at least mention the anonymous "Ashley" for being our one and only flame!! She thinks the fic was "boaring" . Though she couldn't finish the fic, she did manage to read up to Chapter 7 without falling asleep from "boardem".

Goten: And while we're off dissing people…Lets bring up Silver Starre, the only person who had to be ordered to review!!

Trunks: And we'd also like to thank Nicole, for listening to Pixie tell the story, and help her sort out all the details. Only you know the ending Nicole!

Goten: And one final thank you to AMCM74 for letting the reviewers pick out her king. We promise we won't go Florida and start demanding recounts. 

*Pixie walks in, looking dazed and tired * 

Pixie: What are you doing to my computer? 

Gohan: You got 100 reviews! Specifically 102 I think, but hey! That's cool too. 

Pixie: What are you doing to my computer?

Trunks: Borrowing it.

Pixie: Gohan and Goten, you two are in trouble. 

Gohan: What about Trunks?

Pixie: I'm sorry…I can't punish a face that cute…

Gohan: * sigh * and what's our punishment?

Pixie: I don't know…I leave it up to the reviewers. What do you reviewers think?

*fin *


	11. Vegeta

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: Wow, it feels like I've been a while since I've updated. Hey I wonder if Kelly ever got around to reviewing. * checks through the reviews * Wha? No!! Kelly has committed evil!

Gohan: What did she do?

Pixie: She has revealed my real name!!

Goten: What's your name?

Pixie: It's…Yoriko. ((pronounced "You-dee-ko))

Trunks: Cool. Sometimes I think I have a bit of a weird name myself. 

Pixie: Sometimes…? 

*Chapter 10 * Vegeta

Goten's POV

"Vegeta," I said calmly. The Saiyan Prince walked up along side me. He looked up in the wind, and for a moment we stood, like a painting in a museum, still against the slowly setting sun. 

"Sometimes…I too here Kakkarott in the wind." Vegeta's voice melted the frozen silence. I nodded. I think at times, we all heard Goku, gently as the wind, speaking to us and through us. 

"I think Dad's trying to warn me of something." My voice was soft as I spoke. Vegeta grunted in response. I continued, "Does he say to you what he says to me?"

"Yes." Vegeta's response was as short as he was. 

"I wish Dad was here. Even if something really terrible happened, he would still know what to do. We'd all sit around scared, and Dad would tell us not to worry, then go and save us all." Vegeta turned away from me. I had the strange feeling Vegeta missed Goku, almost as much as we did. After all, Vegeta devoted much of his life to being stronger than Goku. With Goku gone, much of his life was missing. 

Or perhaps he just missed Goku. 

Bulma's POV

Two weeks ago, many things happened to me. Vegeta came home, with an actual emotion on his face. He looked sad. He would tell me nothing more than he'd been talking to Goku's kid. I asked no more of him than that. Trunks also came home from work, so excited about going to America. I remember being able to pin point the exact moment I broke his heart by telling him no one had heard from Pan in a week. Now it's been three weeks, nearly a month, and no word from Pan. Everyone is worried, but their worries silent them. I saw Videl while shopping the other day, and I just ducked into a store. I couldn't face her. I think I was angrier with Pan then anything else. She was probably off, not even caring to contact her family, and here they were, falling apart. 

What was wrong with that girl? She shouldn't have even left in the first place. But I knew, I knew love tore girls apart. I just hope we hear from her soon.

Marron's POV

Pan…my friend. Where did you go? I looked over at Bra; she had just finished telling me Pan hadn't been heard from in a while. Was this too, my fault?  

"Bra…" I said softly, "You and me. We are going to make this right…"

"Do you have a plan Marron?"

"Not yet. Only crazy half-formed ideas. But I think we can make everything right again"

Bra's face lit up in a smile, and for the first time in a long while, I smiled as well. 

"Tell me everything."

"Ok…so first off…" 

I explained to her my crazy idea. The more we talked, the more things began to fall into place. Bra ended up spending that whole night talking to me. But in the end, it was worth it. We were going to save Pan. 

Pan's POV

The Gamblers of Life. That's what Celeste calls us anyway. We've quit school now, and have moved into the wild, bright streets of L.A. Its dangerous here, but we find ways to survive. We cling to each other, her hair streaked in gold, mine in silver, our skirts short, our tops tight, and we run wild in the night. Love doesn't exist here. Only the sweet call of lust and power. 

Pixie: Well, I know this chapter's short, but hey the next one's longer, so you can expect that sometime, probably by the end of the week. The story gets quite a bit more exciting from here on out. Well that's all I really have to say. I'll see you next chapter.

-fin-


	12. Loving the Rhythm of the Night

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: Ok, ok, I've been asked enough. Pan does not become a hooker. ((funny though, first time I wrote this story, Pan and Celeste did become hookers. But I re-wrote it later on, and changed that part around. This story has been re-written 7 times, for anyone who wondered)) OK, I've made you wait long enough. Here it is, Chapter 11, Loving the Rhythm of the Night

Pan's POV

There is a certain rhythm in the night. We live our lives by the rhythm. We being, me, Celeste, and the other people lost in the nighttime world of L.A. Celeste and I moved into a dingy little apartment. We support ourselves by working in a tiny beaten down strip club. We're not strippers, we just serve the beer. It's a rough life, but we've fallen into rhythm. People know us now, the lowliest, almost vampire creatures that roam the night. Sometimes I miss JP, but more often I find myself thinking of Trunks. His blue eyes, staring down at you, examining the insides of your soul, and seeing your weaknesses. Every time I serve a blue-eyed man, or one with lavender hair, my mind flies to Trunks, and I love him even more. Silly, I don't even care if Trunks loves me back or not. From now on, knowing I love him is more than enough to fulfill my life. At night, parties rage up to the sky, lighting up our dingy world. Celeste and I, when we're not working join these parties. There's dancing, drinking, drugs, we've tried it all, and though we both know we could have a better life, we don't care. We have become worshipers of the night; we sacrifice our souls to its haunting, dark, beauty, and it become its beautiful dancing slaves.

Goten's POV

I didn't expect to sleep that night, but sleep came easy. And in my sleep, a dream came.

I was standing alone in a dark room, a child again. And suddenly in a flash of light, my dad appeared. 

"Daddy?" tears filled my eyes, and then overflowed, as a million bottled emotions spilled from my heart. I could see my Dad crying too. I ran up to him, and felt his arms wrap around my body, small in my dream, and then, clear as the noonday sun, I heard his voice.

"Goten…Trunks needs you now. He's going to leave soon, across foreign seas. You must follow him. Don't let him persuade you otherwise." I pulled away from my father's embrace, tears still running freely down my face. I made no effort to stop them.

" I will Daddy. I swear, by the sun and moon, and all the gods there ever were and will be, Daddy, I swear I'll do whatever you say!" I think I began to cry harder then. My Dad was no longer crying, quite the contrary his eyes shone with pure light, and his smile seemed to take away the darkness of the room. 

"Goten…"

"Yes Daddy?"

"I love you." 

And with those words, Goku was gone.

I awoke with a start. It was then I realized I was still crying and my pillow was soaked with salty water. I walked over to my window and opened it wide. A soft wind blew across my face.

"I love you too, Daddy."

Trunks' POV

I shoved some more clothes in my suitcase. Tomorrow I would leave for America, L.A., California, the City of Angels. I glanced over at my mirror; a picture of Pan was smiling at me from there. Pan was and always will be my angel. But before I could float away in blissful thoughts of Pan, the door opened with a start. It was Goten, a suitcase in his hand, looking like he'd been to hell and back, but there was an eerie calmness in his eyes, one that didn't make me say no. I picked up my cell phone and called the airlines. I ordered a new ticket, right there and then, in front of Goten. Had I been anyone but Trunks Briefs, they would have refused me, but since I was me, they told me the ticket would be at my house within the hour.

Sometimes, I love having so much power. 

 Pixie: Questions? Comments? Complaints? ((not that you'd have any complaints…)) Well, you can email me Pixietheknight@hotmail.com. I'm also available for chat on AOL instant message and MSN messenger. Or, you can click that little review button…


	13. America, at last

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: OK, so, are you guys ready for the next chapter? Yeah, that's what I thought! You can't handle the next chapter!! Ok, I'm messing with you.  Here's the next chapter, Chapter 12: America, at last. 

Trunks' POV

Los Angeles. Hookers on every corner, occasional gunshots on the corner. Yeah, that's what you'd like to think of it like, wouldn't you? No, it's a beautiful place, full of parties and night-seekers. But no angels. Because if there were truly angels here, Pan would fly up to me on glittery wings. 

      But all in all, a great place. Goten seems weird though. He keeps looking at the sky. Maybe he too, is seeking angels. 

Pan's POV

"Maybe he too, is seeking angels." The voice sounded faintly in my head, for only a second and then it was gone. Was it someone speaking? The voice sounded so familiar, and yet so very distant. I shook it off. I had work to do. I stepped back into the shadows and waited for someone to walk by. Finally, someone did. A man, alone. He looked rich, so I selected him.

"Hey there…" I called to him softly, seductively from the shadows. He turned to me. He got my meaning. He came towards me, and I smiled. He handed me some money, and I reached out to him. 

Then with one quick flick of my wrist, I knocked the man unconscious. I loved being the daughter of a half-Sayian. I reached into the man's pocket and pulled out his wallet. He had not given me much money at all, so I felt I deserved more. After helping myself to all the money in his wallet, and with a muttered "cheapskate" I walked off. L.A. was wonderful sometimes.

I returned to Celeste and dumped the money in front of her. She whistled, real low-like. 

"Pan girl, I don't know HOW you do it. And maybe, I don't want to know." Celeste grinned at me. 

"Must be my feminine charms."

"Either way, we are going out tonight."

???'s POV

"Where are we? I'm not so sure about all of this."

"It's ok. We're doing this for Pan and Trunks. They need us now."

"I'm scared though. I've never been on a plane before."

"We're going to land in L.A. in a little bit. Don't be such a baby."

"What makes you so sure Pan's in L.A.?

"Call it a feeling on the wind."

Krillan's POV

I picked up the phone, unsuspecting of the pain on the other end.

"Krillan? Where's Bra? She's with Marron RIGHT?!" For a brief moment, I felt sorry for Vegeta. Not only are his ears super-sensitive, but Bulma screams in them daily.

"No, Marron's been gone all day. We thought for sure she was with Bra."

"OH MY GOD!" My ears were ringing for days after that scream.

"They're gone aren't they?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"OF COURSE THEY'RE GONE, YOU ASS!!"

Pixie: And now, I leave you all wondering…WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? To find out, you must wait til I update. And if you want me to update, you must review. 

*Fin *

Gohan: the end?

Goten: With no goofy or stupid comments from us?

Trunks: What is the fan fic coming to?


	14. An Unexpected Twist

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: Well, first off, you need to know, that in the story it's been exactly 1 month since JP's death. This fact is important when reading this chapter. And yes, I am aware how short the last chapter was, and I apologize for it. I was short on time, so I put up a short chapter. And now, Chapter 13 "An unexpected shock"

Bulma's POV

"Ok, Vegeta. We just need to stay calm," I said, beginning to panic. 

"I AM calm woman. You are the one hyperventilating," Vegeta said in his usual mocking tone.

Ignoring him, I said, "We'll just go to the police that's what we'll do. We'll tell them our daughter is missing!" I grabbed Vegeta's hand and began pulling him towards the door. 

"WOMAN!" he yelled. Now, normally, I just block out his yelling, and ignore what he says, but he caught me off guard.

"WHAT?!" I yelled back, really annoyed. I turned to face him, and he held up my keys and purse, with an arrogant smirk on his face.

With all the grace I could muster, I took the purse and keys out of his hands, and walked to the door. We switched out shoes, and left for the police station.

Marron's POV

L.A. at last. Our flight had followed Trunks and Goten's so we knew there was no chance of him running into us. Bra stepped off the plane behind me. 

"I'm going crazy," she muttered, "I followed some half-witted blond half-way around the globe, because she thought that for some odd reason, a voice on the wind told her Pan was here. I must have my grandma's brains…" Bra shook out here hair, and gazed around her. "So this is America…" she said. Her blue eyes were caught up in the wonder of this strange world, and I yanked her along to go get a rental car. We had to go find Pan. 

After going through a bunch of bullshit at the rental car place, we finally drove off, Bra behind the wheel, me trying to figure out where to go. I decided to follow my instincts.

"We'll start with Pan's college," I announced, "and see if her roommate knows anything about her whereabouts." We arrived at UCLA shortly. Bra, being a Briefs, was able to get info on Pan and her roommate. 

"Celeste Ama…strange name. OK, so the two of them must have left together." Bra had a small photo of both Pan and her roommate, and was studying them closely, "Since I'm not familiar with the name Ama, I'm assuming her family isn't all that rich. Since Pan also was low on money, they are probably living together on the streets, or in some cheap apartment." Bra put down the photos and began to drive off. 

            It felt like several hours that we drove around. L.A. seemed larger than all of Japan, and we were only going on my instinct here. But a woman's intuition is SOMETHING else, I tell you. For right at that moment, I gazed out the window, and saw the woman known as Celeste Ama walking down the street. 

Pan's POV

Shit. How, HOW could this have happened? I sat there, on the floor of the bathroom, tears running down my face, my worst fears confirmed. How could I, Pan Son, be pregnant? Well, I mean I knew how it happened, but wasn't my life BAD enough?

"SHIT!" I screamed out loud. 

"Pan?" Celeste asked. I could hear her walking in the apartment. Oh God. Celeste! If this was bad on me, it was going to be just as hard on her. I buried my face in my arms and began sobbing uncontrollably. Celeste walked in the bathroom. She just stood there, and looked at me cry. Finally, she said, softly, "What happened?" 

"I'm pregnant," I said through my tears.

"What?! But you…it isn't…Who's child is it?" 

"There is only one man I have loved…and has loved me back. And he is the only man I have ever slept with."

"You don't mean…JP?!!"

I looked at her. I almost didn't believe it myself. But you can't hide from the truth. It haunts you on all corners. I stared straight in her eyes.

"Yes."

Pixie: Ooh…bet you didn't see THAT one coming.

Gohan: Can't say I did.

Pixie: NO time for dumb comments! MUST UPLOAD CHAPTER!!

Goten: We lost her…

Gohan: How much sugar has she eaten today?

* fin * 


	15. Bittersweet Reunion

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: Its that time again…time for a new chapter! I know, I've been mean, making such short chapters…and I'm sorry about that! I'll try and make this chapter longer, but no promises. And now Chapter 14: Bittersweet Reunion

Bra's POV

We watched Celeste go into an apartment building and followed her discreetly. She never noticed we were there. Marron stopped outside their apartment, refusing to go in. I knew what was bugging her. Inside this door might be someone whose life she ruined, possibly beyond repair. I put my arm around her, and softly said.

"It's ok…we're gonna make everything ok. Pan loves you, I love you, she'll forgive you. This is Pan, we're talking about here." I was glad my words sounded so confident. Because I wasn't sure if I should believe them or not. But Marron smiled warily, her eyes laced up with tears. Nearly five minutes had passed outside the door. I smiled softly, then reached over and knocked. 

No answer. I knew someone was home, so I knocked louder. I heard footsteps inside, and slowly the door opened. Celeste stood behind the door, opening and looking at as like she might attack at any second. 

"We're friends of Pan…" I said, my voice softly breaking the silence. Celeste's expression switched to one of deep thought, I watched intently as a million different thoughts raced and danced behind her eyes. Finally, she nodded. 

"Come in…Pan's inside."

Marron's POV

God…it was painful. Knowing behind those doors what lay. Pan…seeing her would be indescribable. I ruined this girl's life. She was here living in some trash apartment when she should be making wedding plans with Trunks. Love was no excuse to do what I did. And yet, in another way, it was a good enough excuse. Because though I knew Pan's heart. I had grown up seeing this girl work through her heart, I saw its limitless depths, and outstretching warmth. But Pan had gone to America to run from the pain I caused. There had to something else, another piece to the puzzle as to why Pan had run from college. 

Pan…I always saw you as so brave, yet the moment the cold hand of rejection brushed you, you ran, a dog with its tail between its legs. I wish I could be that cowardly dog too.

But no, I had to be the snake, snipping at heels, going silently through the grass than making my kill. I have questioned so many things in my life. I have questioned our friendship, questioned my love for Trunks. Yes even now, after all that I've done, I still love Trunks.

But now, I have no questions. I can see clearly now what path to take. I can see the path is dark and shadowy, like the demons in my head. But that is the path I belong on. And so I shall walk it, by myself alone, a child of a nightmare, lost in the dark.

Pan's POV

I saw Celeste leave. I had not heard anything, but she did, because she went out and opened the door. I stood up quietly, and wiped the tears from my face. I splashed a bit of water on my face, it was cold, but it washed away quite a bit of the evidence that said I was crying. I opened the door quietly, and looked out around the edge. Celeste's back was to me, and I could only see part of a person at the door. But that part was all I needed to see. 

"Bra!" I cried out. It was like a million pounds of weight had just been removed from my back. I was hear to avoid all elements of my past, but seeing Bra, was like seeing El Dorado or something. It was so unbelievable, that upon seeing it, you just want to freeze yourself forever in that spot. Time slowed down, and Bra ran past Celeste and threw herself around me. Somewhere in the mist of hysterical tears on happiness, hugs and laughter, Marron walked in. I saw her, and pulled away from Bra. I ran over to Marron and flung my arms around her. 

"Am I dreaming Marron? Or are you and Bra really here?" 

"We're really here…" Marron said, "and we've come with a confession and a mission." 

"Well…in that case, I've got a confession too," I said softly. 

"Perhaps we should sit down," Celeste said, cool as always. We agreed to that, and seated ourselves on the grungy couch. Marron looked in my eyes, and burst into tears. 

"Pan…I've been so awful!"

Pixie: Ok, that's all I have time for today! I'll see you next chapter!


	16. 200 review special!

200 review special

Pixie: Where have I been? Sick, that's where. And of course, I had to hook up my new, used computer up. Ok, so I just took my parents old computer. They didn't need it anyway. But I do…for writing fanfics. I've named my computer Vegeta, cause its slow, stupid, and never does what its told. But that's another story. For this review special, I've decided to put up a preview of my next fic, "Death of my Soul" Cause I'm sure, when I'm done with "Never Lose" you ALL want to go read my new fic, RIGHT? I'll throw in some other stuff, besides the preview, cause its another sad T/P fic, and review specials are supposed to be happy! 

"Death of my Soul"

I fell down, gasping for breath, tears running freely down my cheeks. I struggled to stand, but it was useless.

"Wha…What is this?!" This was no physical pain, this was a pain in my heart, greater than any beating. It was the feeling of a love lost, and the worst pain I ever felt. Vision's flew through my head, thoughts of love, thoughts of sex, thoughts of myself, Son Pan. Anger and rage flung themselves before my eyes. It was then I realized I was standing. I could feel my ki building and building, higher than anything I'd ever felt. I was out of control now, I could do nothing, but grow more sad, more angry, and more powerful. I threw my head back and screamed. At first I could not make out what I was screaming. But then I heard it. A scream of a name. Was this me screaming, so horribly, so full of rage and anger. Crying out a name, over and over again.

"TRUNKS!!!" the name echoed over and over again. Suddenly, something inside me changed. I did not realize the change until afterwards. My hair, so long and black once, now a soft gold, in long spikes down my back, my eyes, once the color of the midnight sky, now so green. A soft gold glow wrapped around me. It was then I remembered my legends. And I realized what change had occurred in me. It was my transformation into a Super Saiyan that ultimately killed my soul. 

I had become the first Super Saiyan ever. It was a great change. 

A change that could not go unnoticed. 

Pixie: That may not be THE final copy of this story, but I think it's a good start. Its an A/U fic, set on the planet Vegeta. Pan, third class warrior, angered over her lost love becomes the first Super Saiyan ever. Because of her transformation, the king Vegeta decides to marry Pan to his son Trunks. But Trunks is not kind to Pan. In fact he seems to hate her. With only the misfit princess Bra on her side, Pan must learn to cope with her new life. But will the newest Princess of Saiyans be able to do this?

Gohan: We'd like to thank this moment to thank our dear reviewers, whom without this special would not be possible. So thank you reviewers, both new and old. 

Pixie: Yes, and I'd like to add my two cents. Pretz, I love you!! Lyra, you're an ass. And if you call me a boy again, I will kick your ass. But don't get me wrong, your still my best friend! 

Gohan: Pixie…

Pixie: Yes Gohan, I will marry you.

Gohan: Not what I was going to say…

Pixie: damn… 

Pixie: And let me apologize once more for the delay in updates. I'll be updating every day for a few days, so expect the next chapter soon. And of course, the premiere of "Killing my soul" I love all you reviewers, keep reading, and of course, don't forget to review! * Big smile * 

Gohan: You know who she sounds like when she talks like that?

Goten: Who?

Gohan: Lemina, from the second Lunar game*…

Goten: yeah, I know what your saying…

* Lunar and Lemina do not belong to me in anyway whatsoever. But it is an awesome game if you've never played it. I highly recommend it.


	17. The confessions

"Never lose" 

By Pixie

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own DBZ. And if you thought I did, well, I must say, you are crazy.

Pixie: I know what you're saying. "Finally, she put up another chapter. And this one better be long." Well…be glad at least a chapters up. And it's a good chapter too. Everyone confesses! Yea! Here it is, Chapter 15: The Confessions Arise.

Marron's POV

"Pan…I've been so awful" Pan opened her mouth, as if to speak, but I waved my hand to silence her. "I understand, you may have a confession too. But Pan…. I have to say this. I feel like I've been preparing my whole life to say this. Let me speak now, in hopes I will gain some peace at last for me soul." Pan nodded and Bra looked at me anxiously. Celeste simply stared at me, both fascinated and frightened of my upcoming story. I took a deep breath. From somewhere inside of me, a voice sounding like my mother's spoke. 

"It's time Marron…its time." I started to speak, softly at first.

"Yes…it is time. But what time is it? The time of the end of our friendship? The time for my redemption? I do not know. Perhaps I will not know until this is over. Since I was a child, I have loved a man. A man called Trunks Briefs. I often dreamed of him, I saw us kissing in the moonlight. But this dream was never meant to be, was it? No Trunks, the most eligible bachelor in the world, had eyes for only one woman. You, Pan. He told me so…He wanted me to find out if you liked him or not. The way you wanted me to find out if Trunks liked your or not. Jealousy…its more dangerous than the deepest set hatred. It will eat your soul from the inside out and no matter how much you fight, it will never release you from its deadly grips. It took me, Pan. It tore me apart. It spoke through me, telling Trunks you never loved him, when you did, and telling Pan that Trunks never liked her, when he did. Why? The question repeats in my mind over and over again, a worn out recording. There is one simple battle. The battle of love. It is a battle that nobody can win…and yet, you will never lose. Never, ever lose…" My voice faded as Pan's shock and horror grew. I waited for the yelling, the silent hatred for me, or worse of all, the disappointment. I could not stand it if she was disappointed. But a reaction came that I never expected. Pan threw her arms around me, crying silently. 

"Marron…I understand. And you are my friend. I love you, and I forgive you." My eyes filled up with tears and I was speechless. But still…

I wish she had been disappointed. 

Pan's POV

Of course I could forgive Marron. How could I not, with my own dark confessions in my heart. There is one more tale to be told tonight in this grungy apartment. 

"I too, have a confession. I too loved a boy. A very strange, very wonderful boy. His name was JP. Our romance was short, but loving. He was so kind, always putting others before himself. And his smile…he had a smile for everyone he met. And then one night…he took me out to dinner. I remember staring into his eyes, and the dawning of the moment. I had fallen in love. Later…we went back to And there…we made love for the first…and only time. I remember not wanting to…but then I fell victim to those eyes and that smile, and I allowed him to enter my body. We never thought of any protection. Because that night, we'd planned to spend our whole lives together. We even began making plans for our wedding. But…these plans changed. JP was hit by a car the next day, and killed. And I…I was left with a deep sadness, intimate memories, and a child. Yes, a child. JP and I's child. I loved him so much…so incredibly much. I felt like dying as well. And in a way, part of me did. And so, Celeste and I left, gamblers of the night, throwing out all we had, hoping for a better chance. Would it be thrown our way? Not now…not here." I looked up at them, mixed confused emotions in the mirrors of their eyes. 

"Oh, PANNY!" Bra flung her arms around me, "Come back to Japan Panny." Her blue eyes pleaded with me more than her words. Could I? Could I forget, leaving the past behind, and move on for a new life?

Celeste's POV

"Go Pan. Return to Japan." I spoke before I even realized what I was saying. 

"Celeste?" Pan's voice was soft, and still clouded with tears.

"We were wrong Pan. Very wrong indeed. We should have never left college. Our past is not in the places where it occurred. It is right here." I placed my hand on my heart. "Etched into our hearts is our every pain, our every love, and everything we've ever done or experienced. We ran Pan, we ran from a past. We should have realized then, that we could never lose our past. Japan is where you started. Its where you must go now." 

"Celeste…I didn't know you spoke Japanese," Pan said.

"My grandmother, who I grew up with was Japanese. She spoke English and Japanese. I just learned both."

"You speak Japanese?" Pan said softly. I saw wheels turning in her head. I nodded warily. 

"Come with me to Japan." Pan sounded so excited about it, but I wasn't sure. Yes it sounded wonderful. And my grandmother would probably want to come with me. I knew she always wanted to die in the land she grew up in. But I was still held back. Invisible barriers of my pain held me in place. I closed my eyes, thinking. An image formed in my mind. I saw myself breaking through glass, stepping into light. 

"I'll go with you, Pan. We'll all go to Japan, me, you, everyone. We must break free of our past," I said, smiling. Pan's smile broke through her tears, a rainbow after the storm. Marron's smile as well joined ours. Bra however faced the door, looking scared. 

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked. 

"I heard Marron speak." The voice from the door was cold and heartless, the storm was starting again, clouding the rainbows. We all turned to the door, daring to see what lay there. A boy stood at the door, a boy I'd only seen before in photographs. I though for a second, before suddenly remembering his name.

"Hello Pan." The voice was the silky, softly dangerous voice, of Trunks Briefs. 


	18. What Trunks and Goten have to say...

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: No, I don't own DBZ. Or any of its characters. I'm cool, but not that cool…

Pixie: Wow, It seems I left quite a cliffhanger with that last chapter. So…are you ready to find out what happens next? 

Goten: Yes!

Pixie: You know what happens next…

Goten: Oh, yeah…but this is my very favorite chapter!

Trunks: You say that about every chapter…

Pixie: Anyway, its time for Chapter 16: What Trunks and Goten have to say…

Gohan: And of course, be sure to check out Pixie's newest fic "Killing My Soul" ((which has been renamed and rewritten since its preview in the 200-review special.))

Trunks' POV

Marron…Pan…how could they? Each girl I had called friend, each girl I had treasured in my heart. I could actually feel the moment when my heart shattered into a thousand pieces. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, and dialed home with it. My mom answered.

"Hey Mom, its me." 

"Are Bra and Marron with you?" 

"Yeah Mom, Bra and Marron are here." I decided to shock her a little. "Pan's here too." 

"WHAT!!!???" She continued yelling for a bit, and I heard her call to Vegeta several times.

Finally: "I have to call the Sons! Bring Panny home soon, and tell her I love her!" 

"Ok Mom"

"And Trunks? Your father and I wish you the best of luck with her. Go get her, tiger!"

"Whatever, Mom…" We said our good byes and I hung up the phone, and placed it casually back in my pocket. I then turned back to Pan, Marron, Bra, and the girl they'd called Celeste. The tension was so thick, you could reach out and touch it. Time fell still as no one spoke. Pan's eyes, so delicate and dark were filled up with tears. She looked down, breaking our staring contest, and a tiny tear fell to the ground.

"A tear?" I wondered, "For who?"

Goten's POV

We had seen Bra and Marron's car driving to our hotel from a meeting, and followed them. We had already heard from Ms. Bulma that those two were missing. They led us to a crappy apartment and then they went inside. Of course, we had to follow. There, we watched as Marron and Bra just stood outside the door, before finally they went inside, leaving the door slightly ajar. We went up to the door and waiting outside, listening to the talk inside. We heard Marron talk. Trunks looked read to kill as she spoke, but then he heard Pan's voice speak, and he fell back as he heard Pan forgive Marron. I had heard and recognized her voice earlier, but had said nothing. I could see that by the look in Trunks' eyes, this was the first time he recognized Pan's voice. He listened in shock as Pan stated her confession. Afterwards he went inside. I waited outside. 

All I could hear inside was silence. Deciding that someone (specifically me!) had to break the tension, I walked inside. 

That's when I realized, I had absolutely nothing to say. So I spoke using the only part of my body that's always working properly. 

"Hey there's an all you can eat buffet near me and Trunks' motel. Why don't we all go there? I don't know about you guys, but I can never solve major crisis' when I'm hungry." For a second everyone just stared at me. Then the girl with black hair and blue eyes began to laugh. I winked at her. She was cute! I walked over to the ladies and linked arms with the black haired girl and Marron. "Hey Trunks? Aren't you going to escort your sister and Panny to the restaurant? Since you're the one paying, it would look weird if you didn't have a date." Trunks glared at me, but with one smile, he sighed. He took Bra's arm. He turned and looked at Pan. For a moment, nothing happened. I thought for one wild second that he was going to turn away from Pan. But then…

"How could I leave my old buddy dateless?" He reached out and linked arms with Pan. I shook my head, and laughed. 

"So my beauties," I said, giving Marron and the black haired girl and quick kiss one the cheek, "Shall we get going, Marron? …uh…black haired pretty women?" The whole room erupted in laughter and I felt my cheeks turn red as I laughed with them. 

"Celeste," she said. 

"And…I'm Goten." And with that we walked out the door, ready to discuss the tangled romance of Trunks and Pan over a hot plate of American food…

Pixie: Aww…is there a little romance budding between our Celeste and Goten?

Goten: I thought I like Bra!

Pixie: Yes…but if we put Trunks and Pan together, you and Bra are going to be related. Distantly, but I don't believe in cousins marrying. 

Goten: Oh, ok. 

Pixie: It's just for this fic. Besides, I've bet you've got some pretty girl author you like…

Goten: Well there is this one that I really like…


	19. The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters.

Pixie: C'mon guys…give it back!

Gohan: Not until you update. 

Goten: No PS2 until you update BOTH of your fics…

Pixie: I'll sic Master Roshi on you! 

Gohan: Then we'll take away this! * holds up a Vegeta action figure* 

Pixie: Where did you find that?!

Gohan: Under you're pillow…Are these lipstick smears on Vegeta here? 

Pixie: Well, I'm off to update!!! Chapter 17: The all-you-can-eat-buffet

Goten's POV

I feel I've saved the day again…avoiding an ugly situation with the greatest thing ever invented…food. And plus…I got a girl. But on to more serious thoughts here. The tension may be set aside for now, but there was something malicious in the way Trunks called Pan his friend while taking her arm. We sat down at the restaurant, me between Marron and Celeste, Trunks between Bra and Pan. That's when I realized what a dumb thing I'd done. This restaurant was All-American. I had no idea how to use the knife and fork here…

Trunks POV

I had to admit it was pretty amusing to watch Marron and Goten try and figure out forks. Bra and I had been to America several times and forks were almost as natural as chopsticks now. But my amusement didn't last long.

"Trunks…speak to me please…" It was Pan, looking at me, her eyes wide with tears her food untouched. I couldn't deal with this now.

"Panny…we'll talk later ok?" It was too hard to look into those eyes now, eyes so full of pain ready to spill out in tears. Pan stood up then, and left for the bathroom. I had the weirdest feeling she was crying, and I had to fight hard from keeping myself from crying too. Bra kicked me, hard, before following Pan. Yes, I still loved Pan, but when I think of all the time I spent missing her with all my heart…slowly, my heart dying over the fact she wasn't by my side…when I think about that, and then finding out Pan was with someone else the whole time. And not only that…she was having his child! 

"She should be having my child…loving me. As much as…as much as I love you Pan,"  I knew now…I knew I could never as  much as look at another girl without my heart aching for Pan. I could never breathe, never walk, never live without thinking of her. Was this the mysterious "bond" my parents had referred to between them? They had told me a bit about the Saiyan bond of love…and the way they could hear each other's thoughts, and know how each other was feeling. Maybe…

"Pan…if you can hear this, I want you to know I love you very much…I'm sorry too." 

Pan's POV

"Pan…if…this…know…love you very much…sorry…" 

"Trunks?" I stood up straight. I swear it on my grandpa Goku's grave I just heard his voice. It was faint, and I only caught half the message, but I know it was he. Bra was now staring at me as if I was crazy, but I didn't care. 

"Trunks…I can hear you Trunks. I love you too!" I don't remember speaking out loud here, but Bra swears I did. I hope Trunks heard me…because I never want to leave his side. 

"JP..." I thought, "Why did I ever know you? I said I loved you, but then why…why did I go home and weep for Trunks? Who did I really love? Maybe both of you…I don't know if it's possible to love two men at once. You and I were the same…Trunks and I are opposites. I think…I think I could of spent the rest of my life with either of you and been happy. But…fate chose for me in a way. Trunks is here, you are gone. But a part of you has been left with me. And now…now I have you both…JP and Trunks. And because of that, I will never lose. We will never lose…"

Marron's POV

It is almost time isn't it? The time for the final redemption to clear my heart of the wrong it's done. I've restored the love of Trunks and Pan…I've confessed my sin to them. And now…now I have one more task. I still love you Trunks. And I still dream of days that will never come, dreams when we shall hold each other in the sunset and talk about tomorrow together. But I am not a blind fool in love any more. I see now, that for us, tomorrow will never come. In order for a new life to begin there must be a death,  in order for your and Pan's love to be born, my love for you must die. I would have stayed by your side forever Trunks. But…you have your mother's stubbornness and your father's determination. And I…I have caused enough pain now. And I will stand in your way no longer. We will return to Japan, where I will complete the final redemption, and finally, be at peace.  
  


Pixie: Oohh…We're definitely closing in the ending chapter's here. Bet you're all wondering what's going to happen next, huh? Well…I'm not telling! Anyway, its been so long since I've advertised someone else's fic! Saiyan-videl is a new author with her first fic up. Its not T/P, but don't let that discourage you…her story's pretty good. Go read and review her story!


	20. The Final Redemption

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters. JP and Celeste do belong to me though…but if you wanted to use them, I suppose you could. I don't really care. 

Pixie: Well this is it…The chapter I've been waiting to type. Chapter 18, "The Final Redemption" 

Celeste's POV

This was it…I was going to Japan. Trunks was even nice enough to get my grandmother a first class ticket. The rest of us decided we had no problems sitting coach. Marron was the first to board, she took a seat by the window. Goten sat next to her. Bra sat in front of them, by the window. Trunks sat next to her. Pan, was in front of me, and I could see she did not want to spend 14 hours next to Trunks. So, I pushed myself in front of her…and sat next to Goten, leaving only the seat next to Trunks open. Pan glared at me, as did Trunks…if looks could kill, I'd be dead a thousand times over. Bra and Goten both seemed to find this fact extremely funny. Trunks scooted over as far as he could next to Bra, and Pan scooted as close as she could to the aisle…but I could still see hurt in her eyes by Trunks' reaction. Marron didn't react, she just stared out the window lost in her own thoughts. 

Poor Pan…it was easy to see how hurt she was about Trunks not liking her. Goten nudged me, and pointed at Pan. Though she wasn't looking at anyone, I could see her eyes had filled with tears. 

"They're meant to be together," Goten whispered softly in my ear, "But they are both incredibly stubborn and won't admit to each other that despite everything, they still have feelings for each other." I turned to face him, and suddenly I realized how very close we were. I blushed and pulled back, and Goten did the same. He smiled sheepishly at me, but quickly wiped off his grin. He looked at me, his eyes full of determination. 

"What are we going to do Celeste?" he said, lowering his voice back down to a whisper. I thought this over, and looked at them both, Trunks and Pan.

"If they are meant to be together Goten…then they'll be together." Goten nodded, looking thoughtful, then reached over and took my hand in his. His hand felt warm and soft. I looked at his face, studying him closely. He smiled at me, a soft genuine smile. I think I'm in love. 

Bra's POV

The flight couldn't have landed any sooner. The tension between Trunks and Pan grew thicker by every passing mile, and I had no one to talk to. Pan and Trunks were grumpy, Marron stared out the window the whole time, and Goten and Celeste talked the whole time while holding hands. I think I ended up falling asleep, drifting off. I remember Trunks finally poking me, telling me we were about to land. I grabbed my purse, and walked off the plane, feeling tired still, and very bored. The second I stepped off the plane I was attacked. My mother, crying hysterically, had leaped upon me, the second I had come off the plane.

"MY BABY!!!" was her war cry as she squeezed me tighter and tighter. 

"Woman! Let go…her face is starting to match her hair…" Dad, turned and smiled at me, a secret smile, for only the two of us. I grinned back, realizing all around us, reunions were taking place. Videl and Chi-Chi were fighting over Pan, while Gohan stood back, smartly staying out of the ladies ways. 18 and Krillan were overjoyed to see Marron, but she hardly seemed glad to see them. She seemed almost…sad. Weird….We went and got my luggage, and started home, so happy, and laughing. So very unaware of what was going to happen soon…

Marron's POV

It's time now, isn't it? The time of my redemption is at last, at last in hand. I'd think I'd be nervous now, but I am so very calm. I walk into my room, locking the door behind me. I walk over to a draw and pull out a small picture of my parents. It is one of the very few pictures of them together. I kiss the picture of them, and place it on a small table in my room. I placed a small note beside it, the last bit of Marron to be left behind. 

"Pan-chan…Panny…I'm so sorry…I love you…I love Trunks…" I began to cry, but nothing mattered anymore. Not my tears, not their tears, not the tears of my parents. Only redemption. I picked up the bottle of pills, and swallowed them…all of them. I knew this would kill me, but now…now I didn't care anymore. I picked up a raggedy old teddy bear, a remnant of my childhood, and laid down on my bed, holding the bear close to me, with my thumb in my mouth. And I saw something…angels, maybe. I smiled softly upon seeing them, and then…

Then I closed my eyes.

Pixie: Ok, I know, a lot of you guessed this, so its not all that unexpected, but I still hope you enjoyed the chapter, as much as I liked writing it. The fic is coming to a close now, and as for sequels, I have no ideas for any. If you have an idea for a sequel, let me know, and maybe I'll write it. As of now, there is no sequel to Never Lose, but hey…things change.


	21. 300 Review Special!

300 Review Special!

((Who of thought we'd get this many?))

Gohan: We've done thank you's and we've done previews in our two past review specials.

Goten: So we've decided, there is only one thing we can possibly do for this review special…

Trunks: Tell the story of how we all came together!

Pixie: And so without further ado…We present to you "The story of us"….

It all started with a young author, who called herself Pixie. She was ready to write and wanted to see if she had talent. And for a while, it seemed she had none. So, this young author decided, that in order to write well, she needed an…assistant. She considered many young anime males, but one day after watching Gohan as the Great Saiya Man on TV, she thought no more. She knew it know, Gohan was her man. 

So the author devised a most clever plan. She decided to put out a "Help Wanted" flyer. The flyer read as follows, "Assistant wanted. Food and shelter will be provided. Must be a Half-Saiyan, A son of Goku's and a name that starts with G-O." Several days passed…and then one day.

"DING-DONG!!" Someone was shouting at the door…Pixie ran to the door, flung it open…and there stood Goten, flyer in his hand. He looked at her, smiled, and said, ever so calmly, "Where's the food?" Pixie sighed, and pointed off to the kitchen. 

PLAN TWO:

"Goten!!!" No answer. "GOTEN!" Still no answer. "BREAKFAST!" Instantly, Goten runs downstairs, and sits down at the table. Pixie sets a large pile of which may have been pancakes in front of him. The so called food had been made by a friend of Pixie's. Goten ate all the "pancakes" that even the dog refused, and looked up, wondering why there weren't more.

"We have a very special mission today, Goten. We have to go find your brother, and bring him back here to live with us."

"Why?"

"Because…um…he really WANTS to live with us…. But he's too shy to say so, so we're going to kidnap him, so he can live with us…Got it?"

"Oh…I get it now!" Pixie smiled her sweetest, and began to gather up some supplies for kidnapping. 

Later that day…

Goten sneaks quietly into his house to where Gohan and Chibi Trunks are playing video games. All the lights are off and the only light that shines is from the game Trunks is beating Gohan at. Goten reaches out blindly and grabs one of the figures. Throwing a bag over his head, Goten jumps out the window where Pixie and the Flying Nimbus are waiting. 

When they got home….

"This isn't GOHAN!" Before them stood Chibi Trunks, looking quite confused. "But…" said Pixie quietly, "I guess Chibi Trunks can stay….BECAUSE HE"S JUST SO CUTE AND I LOVE HIM TO DEATH!!!" She grabbed the small child and wrapped him up in a big hug. 

"Come'n…I gotta show you shrine to you!" Pixie exclaimed, dragging Trunks up the stairs. Goten sighed, and retreated to the kitchen. 

The final plan

Pixie looked from Chibi Trunks to Goten. "OK troops, here's the plan. I've invited Gohan over, and when he comes inside, you two, who are hidden at this time, jump out. Trunks, you gag him, Goten, you tie him up. Then we'll lock him in the closet until he agrees to marry me." Trunks and Goten nodded. They fully understood that Gohan was too shy to tell Pixie how much he really loved her and wanted to marry her. Or so, Pixie had told them. Finally, Gohan rang the bell. Pixie opened the door, and Gohan walked in…the plan went perfectly. Finally, Gohan was tied up in their laundry room closet. "Ok, Gohan…now, until you agree that you will marry me, you will not be let out of the closet." Pixie nodded to affirm this point, and smiled her sweetest smile at him, and walked off, leaving Gohan alone in a dark closet. 

"5…. 4…. 3….2….1…"

"PIXIE WAIT!!" Pixie returned to the closet, and smiled, letting the smoke from Trunks' smoke bombs come out. "Pixie…" Gohan said, "Let me out of her…and I won't leave your house…and…I'll consider this whole marriage thing." Pixie thought this over, for a long time. Finally, she nodded. 

"I suppose that'll work." And she smiled her sweetest, and began to untie him…

Trunks: And that's the Story!!!

Pixie: But one question remains unanswered….When are we getting married Gohan?

Gohan: * mutters something that sounds suspiciously like "never"*

Pixie: Did I hear you say tomorrow?

Goten: Thanks reviewers! Especially, the anonymous Tifa, our 300th reviewer!! And everyone who's gone out and read "Killing My Soul" 

Pixie: You have to read that one to see the great "Princess Trunks" typo…Anyway, I love all my reviewers!! Thanks guys, you are all the GREATEST!!!


	22. Adieu, Marron

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters. 

Pixie: Ok, I'm BACK! And with a new chapter, too! I know you must be eager to read, so now, I present the next chapter, Chapter 19 "Adieu, Marron." 

Pan's POV

Was this my fault? Did I do something wrong? The doctor said it was insanity. That Marron was mentally imbalanced when she died. But I know…and Trunks knows…And maybe even Bra, Celeste and Goten know. We know why Marron is lying there dead. I lit a small bit of incense and placed it in front of Marron. I began to pray, hard as I could for Marron's soul. I wondered now, had Marron lost? We were all dealing with a lot right now, and we we're trying to never lose, but Marron…was she the loser of the game? Or was I the loser for running away? Was Trunks the loser, for loving me and not Marron? Oh Trunks…my sweet Trunks. He still wasn't even speaking to me, but how dearly I loved him. I moved back with the other friends of Marron, and slipped to the very back of the crowd. I felt tears running down my face, yet I made no effort to stop them. All around me, were people crying and holding each other. Even Vegeta was holding Bulma. Chi-Chi was in her father's arms, Goten held on to Celeste. Trunks…Trunks was holding his sister, who was sobbing. I'm all alone…

Trunks' POV

Pan…she looks so alone over there, so lost. Everyone's got someone holding on to them, but she's all alone. Pan…I wonder if she knows how much I love her. How much I wish I was the one holding her now. Suddenly, I remembered something. If I thought a thought hard enough…maybe some twist of fate would allow Pan to hear it…

"Pan," I thought, "I love you Pan. I wish I could hold you now, but my pride is holding me back…and Bra. Bra needs me right now too. She doesn't have anyone to hold her either." I looked over at Pan, waiting for a sign that she had somehow heard me. Her dark eyes, glistened over with tears locked to mine. Slowly she nodded at me. She said nothing back, but that was enough. Pan had heard me…It wasn't quite forgiveness, but it was a start. Bra looked up at me, and caught my eyes locked with Pan. She leaned her face up to my ear and whispered, so softly in my ear. 

"Go to her Trunks…she needs you now." Bra slowly pulled away from me. My mom and dad took her in there arms, forming a little cocoon around her delicate form. I looked at my family, and they looked back, so many words in their faces, but the messages all the same, "Go to her, Trunks. Go to Pan…" I worked my way to the back of the crowd. Pan's expression grew to one of great surprise as I grabbed her and held her close. I stroked her black hair, raven as the night we'd been lost in, and looked in her eyes, filled with the light that was to come. 

Krillan's POV

I do not know this Marron who lays here before me. The Marron I knew was so happy, so full of laughter and delight. What drove her to kill herself in the prime of her happiness I will never know.  But I loved her. She was my one and only angel, the happiness of my life. She was my greatest achievement ever, better than even helping save the world. I see now, I could have saved the world more times than Goku ever could have, but Marron would remain the best thing I'd ever done. Why didn't I spend more time looking into those eyes that would never open again? Why didn't I spend more time getting to know her? What was her dream in life? What drove her to be this girl she had become? Did I really know anything about the girl I had lovingly called Marron for so many years? I do not know now, if I ever really knew her at all. And now…I will never know. 

Pixie: Well, what did you guys think?

Gohan: I like it…

Marron: I think its weird.

Goten: What's so weird about it?

Marron: At the beginning, everyone's all "EVIL MARRON SHOULD DIE!!" and now they're all "NOO!!! EVIL AUTHOR SHOULD DIE FOR KILLING MARRON!" 

Pixie: Weird…


	23. Come back to me...

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: I know its been awhile. WAYY too long in fact. But I've been entertaining guests, and trying to work out a hellish play schedule. ((I'm not in the play btw. I blew it at auditions. I run the followspot. ((It's a spot light that is used to follow people around on stage)) Rehearsals are….5 hours. A night. Top that off with studying for tests at school and you have one girl with absolutely no fun life. But here, before I go off to work on the dreaded world of math…I will update for you all. Sorry again for slow updates.

Chapter 19: Come back to me..

Pan's POV

Its been eight months since Marron's funeral. Everything is so quiet. We have all agreed not to tell Krillan or 18 what was really going on in Marron's mind. Her death is still fresh in their minds, so we will spare them the pain and shame Marron held in life. Someday we will tell. 

My baby is due very soon now. Its going to be a boy. I've decided, that when he's going to be called Jeff. Like his father. I won't call him JP though. I don't think I'll be able too. Everyone's been real supportive about me having a baby. I thought Mom and Dad would flip, but Mom hugged me, and Dad smiled, and said they'd support me. Everyone else seemed cool, and promised to support me. 

Everyone but one person. A boy with lavender hair, whom I haven't seen since Marron's funeral, when we held each other close, and whispered our love to each other. I've called his phone, I've called his work, I've called Bulma, Bra and Vegeta. Always the same answer. "Pan?" they would say, "Why don't you call later?" I would call later. Same response. 

I picked up the phone and dialed Trunk's secretary. 

"Who would you like to speak to?" The woman asked.

"Trunks Briefs," I said softly.

"And who might you be?" The woman asked. I thought for a moment. If I told her I was Pan, she'd tell me Trunks was in a meeting or something. But…if I could convince this woman I was Bra…I wondered why I hadn't thought of this before

"Bra Briefs, his sister." It was a bad lie, but it might work.

"One moment, Ms. Briefs." I sighed. 

"This is Trunks Briefs." I almost giggled over how official he sounded. 

"Trunks?" I asked, not daring to believe that was his voice I was hearing. I had missed his voice so much, and hearing it was like hearing the sweetest music. I tried to make my mind record the sound of his voice, but it was as fleeting as the wind.

"Panny?" He sounded in disbelief, "Pan I…I don't know what to say."

"You've been avoiding me, Trunks." 

"Pan…Yes I have been avoiding you. I've wrapped myself up in work and everything so we don't have to be together. But Panny…While you were out with JP, I was mourning in my room, wanting to die. All I could think about was you. The way you smelled, the way you smiled. It drove me to the point where I couldn't even tell night from day. All I saw was darkness. The only hope I held, even if it was just a dying candle flame was you. Thinking that maybe there was a small chance that some where you were missing me too. But no…you were off with Mr. Nice Guy JP, having his children, planning to spend your whole life with him. And then, in the blink of an eye, he's gone. And I'm back, you're there to welcome me with open arms and love. You forgot about this JP so easily. Will you forget me too?" 

"Trunks…." I couldn't believe what he was saying. 

"Pan…meet me at CC in 10 minutes. Let's talk there." 

"Ok." I hung up the phone gently, and flew out the window. I could have been at CC in 2 seconds, but I had to fly slowly because of the baby. But in 10 minutes, I was there, in Trunk's room, sitting on a chair. I looked up at Trunks, his blue eyes filled with worry, anticipation, and in the farthest corners, I think I even saw love.

Trunks' POV

Pan sat there, looking at me. Gods, she was beautiful. Even at 9 months pregnant, Pan was a shining star, a candle in the dark. 

"Trunks…" she looked at me as she spoke, her black diamond eyes shining with tears, "I don't regret the time I spent with JP. You and I, we're opposite, while JP and I were more the same. But…I loved you too. I feel like I have two hearts instead of one, one full of love for JP, and one loving you. I suffered Trunks. I left my homeland because I thought you didn't love me. I abandoned my family, my friends, everything hear, because I thought we could never be. And I know you felt the same. You're sadness w as not because of my leaving, it was because…even if I returned, you thought we'd never be together again. Don't you see Trunks? I had to move on. And JP was there. In the right place at the right time. I loved him, Trunks. As much as I love you. JP is gone Trunks. And you are here, and I love you. You are in the right place at the right time Trunks. What are you going to do about it?" I stared into those tear-stained eyes, silent. I knew we we're both trembling, but I had no answer. Not yet. The words "I love you" formed themselves on my tongue, but I could no say them. Suddenly, Pan broke our eye contact as she fell to the floor. 

"Panny?" I said, not disguising the alarm in my voice. 

"Trunks…my baby. He's here. Call the hospital." I did as she said, and an ambulance came. I would have taken her myself, but I had to tell Gohan and Videl. 

"Pan!" I yelled after her, "I love you too!" 

Pixie: One more chapter everybody, then I'm going to concentrate on "Killing My Soul" for a bit. When my schedule clears up a little, I'm putting up a G/B fic, written by me and my cousin, called "Bondage" ((it's not another angsty romance fic either.)) 


	24. Epilogue

"Never Lose"

By Pixie

Pixie: I can't believe it. We've gone so far, and I've fallen in love with this fic. And now, its all over. I don't have time to thank all the reviewers personally, though I'd like to. Katie, even though we hardly talk anymore, I just want to thank you especially, cause I hope you read this. I know you hate reviewing stories, so I'm very happy you reviewed mine. No matter how much it sucked, you always read my stories and told me how good they were, so thank you for that. You're my best friend forever. 

Epilogue: 

Pan's POV 

I leaned back on the hospital bed, holding Baby Jeff close. His hair was dark brown and his eyes were black. I couldn't get over how beautiful he was. His tiny hands and feet, and eyes that struggled to stay open. Every time I looked into his face tears filled my eyes. 

"He's going to have a hard time against his younger brother's and sister's. Considering that they're going to have a lot more Saiyan blood than him." Said a voice that I knew so well.

"Trunks!" I turned to face him; he was standing there, looking at Jeff. He grinned at me, then looked back at the baby.

"Yeah…all seven of his little brother's and sister's are going to be way stronger than him. We'll have to keep an eye on little…what's his name here." 

"Jeff. His name is Jeff….Wait a sec! Seven brothers and sisters?!" Trunks nodded, looking casual, but I saw that glimpse of a smile in his eyes, "All right," I said, "But only if YOU give birth to them." 

Trunks raised one eyebrow at me, and I stared back taunting him silently. 

"It's going to look a bit bad on my reputation if I have seven kids before I'm even married," Trunks said in a mock serious voice, "So I guess you and I are going to have to get married." 

"Is that a proposal?" I asked, "Cause if it is, I'm only going to accept if you get down on one knee." 

Trunks shrugged and got down on one knee. "Pan, my love," he said, "will you marry me?" 

Click! Celeste and Goten stood there with a camera behind him. Trunks turned and glared at them, but all they did was grin back. 

"Well, Pan?" Celeste said, "when are you going to say yes?" 

"Yes, Trunks, I'll marry you…but maybe we could only have five kids? I don't think I could handle seven…" 

Trunks' POV

So in the end, I believe everything worked out ok. The scars are still there, and Baby Jeff is living proof of all the pain we have endured. His black eyes seem to hold all the pain everyone has felt. But…I think he's also a sign of hope. Showing that, even after everything, life begins again, right where it started. Jeff is our pain, our love, and everything we have felt. And so, I love him. Because he is Pan's. In a way I can't explain he is also mine. And Marron's, Goten's and Celeste's, and JP's. The scars in our soul serve as a reminder of what we have been through. And those we shall never lose. 

*End *

Pixie: Thank you everyone, for the reviews, all you reviewers, you mean the world to me. So…for your entertainment, we've created several "alternate endings" to "Never Lose"…

Trunks: It would look bad on my reputation if I had seven kids before I was married. So, Pan, I would like to introduce you to my fiancee, Goten. 

Trunks: …to my fiancee, Pixie.

Trunks: …to my fiancee, AMCM74. 

Goku: YOU BASTERD!! She's MINE!!!

Trunks: So, Pan, my love, will you marry me? 

Pan: I can't, I'm married to the Ox King.

Pan: I'm married to Master Roshi.

Pan: I'm married to Goten.

Pixie: Redneck Pan….

Trunks: I would marry you Pan, but I'm married to Marron.

Pan: She's DEAD!

Trunks: Yeah, ain't it a turn on?

And finally, a random bit written by my cousin and I.

Vegeta and Bulma lay back in bed. 

"Woman, I have to ask you something. How come we never…well…switch roles?" 

"You want to switch roles Vegeta?" Bulma asked looking over at him. Vegeta nodded. "Fine," Bulma said, "Tomorrow, you do the dishes, you cook, and you do the laundry, and I'll sit on my ass and drink a beer!" 

"Not what I meant…" 


End file.
